Birthday Philosophy: Murder

The best thing I've been given in a really, really long time. A lesson in the life and birth of murder from a fellow victim.
"Birthdays are, of course, all about murder.

But we haven't been allowed to engage in such behavior in decades. I believe August 10th, 1952 was the last time. Ah, Reginald. You chose wisely.

However, because of the centuries of murder-on-birthdays, we have been ingrained at a cellular-subconscious level to dread them.

Someone is going to die today. You just know it.

The people who are happy on their birthdays? Murderers. Most likely in past lives.
The people who dread them? Murderees.

Now of course that's most of us. We die. It's a bummer, but what're you gonna do?

See also Faith No More's "Surprise! You're Dead!" for validation of this. Not well known, but Patton wrote that song on his birthday. For his birthday.

Now, the good news is we live in more civilized times. We only attempt to murder people because they are irritating the shit out of us. But not on birthdays.

So your dread? It is a phantom left over from a time when people might try to kill you. Nothing to worry about now!

Would you like a drink?
/smiles"

Ahahaha. God, that's wonderful. Thanks, Kickback.

Not Ironic

"Such transitions are ever full of pain: thus the Eagle when he moults is sickly; and to attain his new beak, must harshly dash-off the old one upon rocks." - Thomas Carlyle

Reading that just a moment ago could not have helped with the dread I'm already feeling for my birthday.

Leap For It, Little Ones!

This is our relationship. Take note.

And thank you, Wondermark. I laugh.

Inspiration

In the throws of Final Exams and a general feeling of inadequacy, I've taken drastic measures to lighten the mood.



The latest, in a series of attempts, has seemed to help the most: